For starters (and I hate to state the obvious,) but Love has no color.
To some, that term will resonate but to others, it may be perceived as bullshit or a “cop-out.”
Interracial dating is a topic that is often addressed from a place of conflict and never from a place of understanding. I believe how society reacts to interracial couples or those who date interracially, reveals that we still have a long ways to go towards acceptance.
For me as a Black, specifically African male, I’ve had my fair share of interracial relationships/Dates and to be quite honest, it has exposed me to a lot.
Growing up, I never had a “preference” (Subconsciously, it’s a given that we all want someone who’s looks lights a fire up under you and that’s regardless of race.) I’ve always gravitated towards who I genuinely enjoyed being around and through dating and getting to know one another, figuring out if we can co-exist as one.
When I was younger, I was caught up in this immature mindset of, “Hey, this woman has to have these physical features, look a certain way, etc.” Yet, as I’ve aged, (Thank God for wisdom and most importantly maturity,) I’ve placed more importance on the ability to co-exist and the mental because as a wise man once told me, “Your looks may grab someone’s attention for the moment, but its the personality that will keep their attention for a lifetime.”
Dating outside my race initially wasn’t easy. I could recall when I was younger being with a woman outside my race, I got backlash from all angles. I got backlash from some family members who thought the worse would happen to me being a Black male dating a woman who was outside my race/ethnic background and they thought that I didn’t like/had a hatred for my race of people.
Those were some of the initial “struggles” I had to deal with. On the flip side, I had to deal with the backlash from family members of the woman I was dating. A lot of it about my skin color and why their daughter didn’t choose a man from their race/ethnic background to date.
There were also internal and external struggles. Internally when I couldn’t understand a certain language or quickly adapt to one’s culture and way of living, I wondered if the individual would have the patience with me to figure it out or if I was worthy enough to even be with them. Externally, it was worse. Walking in public or restaurants and seeing people side-eye me, make slick comments towards me or the person I was with. I won’t lie, it was tough. At times it made dating outside my race/ethnic background hard and to a certain extent, want to avoid it completely.
However, I realized that there is both strength and tons of teachable moments with interracial dating. For me, my initial experience very early on in my life prepared my family for what I had and will do in my life dating-wise so it won’t be a surprise at all to them.
For me, the strength comes from the fact that given all of the external and internal factors you can boldly love. I commend all interracial couples and people who are interracially dating both young and old who continue to fight for their union daily. I find it exciting to meet someone who has a different cultural background and being able to work as a team to figure each other out with the sole purpose of co-existing as one.
From a societal standpoint, Its important folks realize that if one is dating outside of their race, it doesn’t mean that they have a dislike for their race. It’s a beautiful thing to have the freedom to love who you want and we as a society should embrace the fact that some folks will date outside of their race if they want.
However, at the same time, just because you date outside your race doesn’t mean you put down folks of other races or your own. Too many times folks tend to uplift one set of people at the expense of others and that there isn’t cool at all.
The End.