1. Identify that there’s a problem:
Hate to state the obvious but to become more disciplined Sexually, you have to admit that there’s a problem. I used to shy away from the fact that I had a problem until it took a toll on me. Once I was able to admit that I had a problem, things begin to change.
2. Be productive:
Whenever those sexual urges arise (trust me they do, I still struggle with it till this day.) Find something to do! Go for a walk, exercise, read a book, etc. I’ve noticed that when you’re idle and not doing anything, those are the times when those urges kick in the most.
3. Limit your access to Porn:
For some of us growing up, we didn’t get the traditional “Birds and the Bees” story on how we should properly approach sex so we resulted to other alternatives such as Porn & probably watched it at rate that’s unhealthy for us (we are all grown here, let’s call it like it is.)
Many benefits will come from this. It will Un-desensitize you so you can enjoy sex when you decide to have it. It will allow you to have better relationships, etc.
4. Surround yourself with folks who understand your choices/be secure in your choice:
This is probably the most important part of achieving sexual discipline. For a lot of men, we let peer pressure force us to sometimes make very silly decisions and we have ignorantly tied our value on who we are as men to how much money, possessions and women we can obtain (there are other ways to be valuable & valued fellas.) You must remain strong in the choices you make & also be aware of the friends you surround yourself with. Not everyone will understand your decision and it doesn’t make you less of a man by committing to this.
5. Understand the Consequences Beforehand
We all think we are aware of the consequences of sex but a lot of us disregard it until its too late. Just because you may frequently test/check up on yourself doesn’t mean the person you decide to lay down with is. Also, understand that by committing to having sex with someone, there is a possibility that a pregnancy may occur. It sounds like an obvious/”No Duh” advice but I had to reiterate it because we wait until its too late to take these things seriously. A wise man once told me, “If you don’t see this person as a potential Mother/Father to your child don’t lay down with them, to begin with.” (Ain’t gone lie this is extreme but I understood where he was coming from with this advice.) No, I’m not saying be celibate but you and whoever you choose to lie down with must be both on the same page.
6. Respect & value Women:
I can’t stress it enough but this is probably the most important tip if you don’t decide to follow anything else. Shift your mindset on your perception towards Women. They are more than just objects of pleasure, they are more than the size of their Brest, Ass, etc. See them for the individuals that they are. Get to know them, support and honor them.