“Kev, you’re always so serious” “Kev, smile a little” “Kev, relax! Take it easy bro, you are good” “Kev, you’re doing too much”
Those were the few of many comments I’ve received for a large portion of my life. While I thought it was just people being people, over the weekend, I had the time and the space to do some deep-thinking & self-reflection. It was at that moment where I identified a trend about myself.
All of my life, I’ve always been on this “pursuit” to live the best life I can. To do things the “right way” etc. Anything I was passionate about, sports, school, women, etc. I approached it with a level of intensity that sometimes was unnecessary and borderline scared some folks away lol. You might have mistaken me for Pat Bev on the Clippers the way I went hard for the things I was interested in and wanted to achieve.
Knowing how low society sets the bar for Black men, growing up in a single-parent home and seeing how hard my mom worked and struggled heightened my pursuit to want to do right. While it has gotten me far in life, I’ll be the first to admit that it has also robbed me of the ability to enjoy life, the ability to sustain previous, current and potential friendships, relationships and experiences too.
Daily, knowing how hard I go, I would have random moments of overthinking when things did not go my way, or when the goals I’ve set out to achieve took longer than expected.
Whether it was a party, date, casual conversation, work, etc. My mind will randomly race to think (sometimes overthink) on what I did, did not do and what I could have done. Why? I can not explain but finding ways in those moments to ground myself was tough until I discovered ways of managing myself when I experience those moments.
During High-School, I took a yoga course, did some modern dance and ballet in addition to the other dance courses I took (yea, ya boy was and is a dancer lol.) It was in those classes where I realized how powerful music and meditation were to the body and mental. While I didn’t have many opportunities to do yoga after high-school, music and just being alone for moments at a time became my main outlet to relax in addition to Writing (ironic right). I must say, it has been very helpful with how I navigate certain situations. Am I where I want to be? No, but to relax, I’ve made aware to myself that this will be an on-going process and not a one time fix.
In summary, don’t get so caught up in grinding for a better life and wanting things to happen that you don’t take the time on occasion to enjoy it, be in the moment and most importantly let things flow! Do find that balance. Do find ways to relax if you have moments similar to me. How you go about doing that is and should be unique to you.
Until next time… #WordsFromKev